God’s Desires: How to know God’s will in difficult decisions.

How do I know whether to marry this person or choose this or that career? Does God have desires about these decisions? Of course He does. We use the phrase “God’s will” to refer to these desires. God is not AI that coldly calculates a direction based on probability and past outcomes of similar situations. He has desires. He grieves, loves, weeps and wills. As Christians, we want to know what God wants in every decision we make. But how?

His Word directs us in the moral right and wrong. These are easy (to know). But I’m not talking about those situations. I’m talking about the times that I really struggle with which way to go when the answer is not a moral right or wrong. 

Does God have a desire about serving as a Pastor in NYC instead of Dubai? Some subjectivity comes into play. But I believe the Bible speaks to us about God’s desires in these situations too. We can have a confident certainty of God’s desire in those difficult life decisions.

Consider five Bible principles that help us discern God’s desires in these hard-to-discern life decisions. I’ll put them into the acrostic PILLAR to help you remember. Base your decision on these pillars.

P – Providence: How has God led to this point?

“In Him also we have obtained an inheritance, having been predestined according to His purpose who works all things after the counsel of His will” (Ephesians 1:8-11 emphasis added).

Providence comes from the Latin words ‘to see’ and ‘before.’ God sees beforehand what will happen in our lives and is in control of these circumstances (Psalm 135:6; Proverbs 21:1; Daniel 4:35; Ephesians 1:11). 

What a comforting thought!  Your life is not a haphazard group of accidents. God directs in and through the general circumstances surrounding our lives to lead us in His will. Look again at the phrase in bold from Ephesians 1 above. How many things does God work together for His will? In God’s wisdom and insight, He can cause all things to work together for His will. All things are included (Romans 8:28).

How has the Lord guided in your life up to the point. Has He opened an opportunity for you? In what ways has He gifted you? Who has He placed in your life to help you? There are many ways to look at your current circumstances and honestly assess how the Lord has been leading.

If you know the Lord is guiding your steps, then you can look back at the path of your life up to this point and see which way He is moving your path forward. Take a look at your life from a vertical perspective. Look down on the footsteps so far and see if you can follow the natural trajectory of where God is directing your steps forward.

 I – Inclination: What desire has God given you?

“Delight yourself in the Lord; And He will give you the desires of your heart” (Psalm 37:4).

David encourages us to find our delight, our nourishment and our life’s refreshment in God. “Delight yourself in the Lord…” This is a primary factor in determining God’s will.

Do you love Him? That is reflected in your obedience. But, beyond that, does He have your affections? Do you truly delight in Him? Do you spend time with Him by talking with Him in prayer, and listening to Him as you read His Word? Is your relationship with God a delight? 

If the answer to these questions is “yes,” then the second part of that verse will be true. “He will give you the desires of your heart.” Your delight in the Lord is the primary prerequisite for this desire-implanting-power of God to work in your life.

As you do delight in Him, He gives you the desires of your heart. This does not mean that He gives everything you desire. What it means is that He begins to give desires to you that are heavenly. He changes your desires. 

If your delight is in everything other than God. If your delight, your affections and your cares are entirely on the stuff of life, then your desires will only be earthly. But as your heart grows close to the Lord’s heart, you’ll find that your desires align with His—you will automatically seek God’s desires above your own. 

One caution here: This principle can be twisted to say, “all the desires of my heart are right.” That is not a good understanding of the verse. We know that by nature (our default setting), the heart is tricky. As Jeremiah said, “the heart is more deceitful than all else and is desperately sick; who can understand it?” (Jeremiah 17:9). So this would be a very poor pillar to lean on exclusively when making a major decision. The desires of your heart may well have come from a close walk with God, but your heart may also be leading you astray.

L – Love: In what way can you serve God and others better?

“And this I pray that your love may abound still more and more in real knowledge and all discernment, so that you may approve the things that are excellent, in order to be sincere and blameless until the day of Christ” (Philippians 1:9-10).

Paul prays that the Philippian believers would abound in love (Philippians 1:9). This love is directed toward both God and others. Notice the result of growing in love: they would be able to approve what is excellent.

Luke uses the word “approve” for the man who turned down an invitation to a feast because he had bought a new yoke of oxen and wanted to test it out. He wanted to “put to the test” what he had just bought. 

As you grow in discerning love, you are able to put two good options “to the test” and decide which is the most excellent. This is how love helps you discern God’s will. What is the best choice? The one that allows me to love God and others best. 

One good way to test yourself is to compare your choices with the different activities of love in 1 Corinthians 13. Filter your choice based on what God says discerning love looks like.

A – Advice: What advice do Godly friends and counselors give me?

“Listen to counsel and accept discipline, that you may be wise the rest of your days” (Proverbs 19:20).

You should not make major decisions in life without consulting wise counselors. Give much weight to advice from pastors, parents, and friends who have walked with the Lord for a long time. 

As you do, be sure not to stack the deck one way by asking advice from people who will tell you what you want to hear. This Proverb was written from Solomon to his sons. And yet the son that followed him to the throne ignored this advice. He followed the advice of his friends instead of leaning on the advice given by the wise men that were given to help him.

“But he forsook the counsel of the elders which they had given him, and consulted with the young men who grew up with him and served him” (1 Kings 12:8).

As a result, he lost the kingdom that His dad had given to him. 

This is one of the most important pillars to rest on. The Lord will often lead you to the right choice through the insights of those who aren’t emotionally attached to the situation. Other people have the advantage of a fresh perspective and see what you may have overlooked.

R – Reason: What is the wise choice?

“How blessed is the man who finds wisdom… Her ways are pleasant ways and all her paths are peace” (Proverbs 3:13-17).

God often leads through what we might call common sense. As you spend time in the book of Proverbs you gain God’s skill in living life well.

Wisdom begins with the fear of the Lord (Proverbs 1:7). Many people destroy their lives because they live without any fear of God. A fear of the Lord is a healthy respect for our Heavenly Father. God sees our decisions, and like a good Father, He will discipline those who disobey Him.

Wisdom also considers all the effects of a decision. Our society tries to get us to act on impulse without considering the consequences. A Spirit-filled believer lives with self-control. They consider before they take a leap. And so, wisdom considers the obvious pros and cons of the effects of different pathways. 

As you rest your decision on these five PILLARS: Providence, Inclination, Love for God, Love for others, Advice and Reason, you can have a confident assurance of God’s desire in that decision.

For a full Bible study on this topic see: “God’s Desires in Life’s Decisions“