Understanding God’s created order in the book of Genesis is the first step to grasping a biblical worldview about money. Understanding the creation of man and woman and the roles given to each by God is key. Once we have the roles of husband and wife in marriage down, we can begin to understand how this applies to managing money in the home.
The Role of Roles in Managing Money in Marriage was the first article. This article goes a step further, showing how the New Testament clarifies roles in marriage even more. This provides great help to Christians seeking wisdom about how to apply God’s truth to managing finances.
The Submission Principle
The submission principle is found in Ephesians 5:21b-33:
21b submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.
22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.
25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. 28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, 30 because we are members of his body. 31 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. 33 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
Colossians 3:18-19 gives it to us short and sweet with no elaboration: Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them.
Submission Principle Stated for Each Spouse
The submission principle we see in these passages are applied to the roles of both husband and wife:
- The husband must submit to Jesus and learn to love and lead his wife as Christ does His church.
- The wife must submit to Jesus by learning to submit to the leadership of her husband.
This mutual submission as expressed in this passage is God’s plan for marriage. It is important to see its application to money management in the home as well.
The Submission Principle Applied
The husband and big decisions
If the husband is the leader of the family, should he make big financial decisions without his wife’s knowledge or consent? If the husband did not ask for his wife’s input, he is not leading his wife in love. If the husband does not seek his wife’s counsel, how can she fulfill her role as the helper God created her to be?
The husband should seek to obtain his wife’s agreement before deciding anything major about their family’s possessions. It would be a wise rule, given there are no extenuating circumstances, to wait and pray about any important matter until there is agreement. A husband who truly loves his wife and respects her role will think this way. Even so, don’t forget that the husband is the leader of the family, and he has the right to decide even if his wife still disagrees.
The wife and big decisions
Should the wife make big financial decisions without her husband’s consent? Absolutely not. She is the helper, not the leader, in her marriage.
For example, if the wife wants to accept a high paying job that requires a long daily commute or significant time away from home, and the husband does not want her to accept this position, what should she do? She must not go, because she is the husband’s helper, not the family leader.
Maybe the wife wants to borrow money to buy a car for their child to go to school instead of riding the bus or riding with others. The husband disagrees about borrowing money. No matter what the reasons motivating the desire to buy the car, the wife must submit to his decision.
Handling disagreement
What should happen if the husband refuses to listen to or accept his wife’s opinion and decides to do something that the wife feels is very unwise? For example, the husband’s brother asked to borrow $5,000. The husband wants to lend his brother the money, but the wife, knowing present and upcoming needs, thinks it very unwise. What should she do? After she has respectfully disagreed, she must honor her husband’s decision.
Submission means respectfully accepting the decision of another when we disagree with them. If we agree with their decision, no submission is needed. This is no easy matter for anyone, but this is what God desires of His children who are wives.
When women submit to their husbands in this way, it is her offering to God. It is a personal sacrifice. She knows that God desires her to submit to her husband, and it is difficult. She must trust the Lord with the outcome, even if her opinion is correctand her husband wrong.
Mixed marriages and money
What if the husband is not a believer in Jesus? Are there different rules for a family if the husband or wife has not yet believed on Christ?
1 Peter 3:1-7 speaks directly to how to relate to an unbelieving spouse:
1 Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, 2 when they see your respectful and pure conduct. 3 Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— 4 but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious. 5 For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, 6 as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening.
7 Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.
Submission principle restated
This passage teaches the mutual submission principle as well. The wife is to submit to her husband and show her respect for God and her husband through her godly behavior. Peter actually urges the Christian wife of an unbelieving husband to seek to win him through her respectful and godly actions. The wife must be a respectable helper to her husband and follow his leadership, even if the husband is not yet a believer in God, with the exception that she should not follow him into sin.
The husband is reminded of his need to submit to Christ by honoring his wife and living with her in an understanding way. For both husband and wife, failure to live according to the mutual submission principle hinders their prayers. Living for Christ includes obedience to these principles.
Two-Article Summary on Managing Money in Marriage
In order to manage money in marriage in a way that pleases God, we must:
- Live according to the roles that God created for men and women and
- Live according to the principle of submission as God has commanded each.
How we manage money in marriage affects our relationship with God and our spouse. As we learn to live according to the roles God has given and submit to Him and one another, we will enjoy God’s peace and joy. Not only this, we will also enjoy love and oneness with our spouse in greater and greater measure.
Genesis 2:24 tells us: Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.
Unless otherwise noted, Scripture quotations are taken from the ESV® Bible.
Image by Mircea Iancu from Pixabay
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