Every Christian parent knows they should pray for their children. Job prayed for his children, even in their adulthood. He would rise early in the morning and offer burnt offerings on their behalf (Job 1:5). But praying for children is easier said than done.
Prayer Ruts
A parent’s prayers may fall into several ruts. There’s the Vague Ditch (“Lord, bless Johnny”), the Redundant Ditch (“Lord, help Johnny”), the Trivial Ditch, (“Lord, be with Johnny”), and the Carnal Ditch (“Lord, give Johnny good grades”).
There’s a place for all of these prayers, for sure, just as there’s a place for dessert. But you can’t live on dessert. Dessert prayers shouldn’t dominate your intercession for children any more than ice cream should dominate your dinner.
If the prayers for your children lack meat and potatoes vitality, here’s a practical solution. Choose a theme verse for each child, then pray that verse over them all year long.
Examples
Fathers should consider following this exercise each year. This is a big part of being a leader in the home. Dad must shepherd the heart of his children. He plans ahead. He has forethought. He knows his little lambs. “Know well the condition of your flocks”, Solomon says (Pr. 27:23).
Find a verse that touches an important need. For example, suppose your son is nearing conversion. In his battle with sin he cannot determine if he’s a Christian. Consider choosing as his theme verse 2 Corinthians 13:5. “Examine yourselves, to see whether you are in the faith. Test yourselves.”
If your daughter is sweet but you’re burdened that she remains that way, make this year’s theme verse 1 Peter 3:4. “Let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious.”
Then tell your children this is their verse for the year. Tell them you wrote it down and you’ll be praying it over them. Tell them to write down the verse as well. The benefits for this are many.
Seven Benefits
(1) Biblical. This ensures your prayers will be theologically sound. You know you are praying in a way that is Scriptural and pleasing to God.
(2) Measurable. It’s hard to measure “be with us” kinds of prayers. But if you’re praying Proverbs 13:20 over your son (“whoever walks with the wise becomes wise”), you can thank God at the end of the year that he answered your prayers. “Son, I’ve been praying about your friendships all year. I’ve noticed you’ve been spending much less time with Biff and a lot more time with Taylor. This is just how I’ve been praying and I can see how your character has developed.”
(3) Predictable. You can go to this prayer again and again, like a quarterback throws to his favourite receiver all game long. When everything else fails, you know this verse will help you approach God’s throne in prayer for your child. When your mind is foggy and searching for ways to intercede for your kids, this theme verse will be for you a lighthouse. It will help you pray until you pray.
(4) Reproducible. Pray this verse over your child publicly and privately. This will teach him how to pray for himself. Don’t just say, “Emma, pray!” Emma doesn’t know how to pray. But she does know that she is struggling to guard her tongue. Her mother prays the theme verse over her. “A gentle tongue is a tree of life, but perverseness in it breaks the spirit” (Prov. 15:4). Now she prays this over herself. The verse becomes a compass that always points her to biblical prayers.
(5) Distinguishable. Your son will know you pray differently for him than you do for his sister. He knows his father has thought about this. Dad doesn’t spit cookie-cutter prayers. Mama isn’t just praying. She’s praying for me.
(6) Practical. The theme verse becomes a great parenting aid. Instead of shouting endlessly, “Mary, speak gently”, you can say, “Mary, what verse are we working on this year?” She replies sheepishly: “Proverbs 15:1. A soft answer turns away wrath.” Then pray over the verse together. This seems like a much better approach than scolding.
(7) Continual. Young people love repetition. They don’t tire of the same thing over and over. There’s safety in what they know. Jeff knows his parents are concerned about the poor counsel he takes. Jeff knows his parents pray Proverbs 11:14 over him (“Where there is no guidance, a people falls”). Jeff knows this verse by heart and even finds himself praying it too, almost absentmindedly.
Conclusion
Think about how your child needs prayer. Narrow it down to one idea. Then write your child’s name and theme in the back of your Bible. For example: Ryan | laziness | “In all toil there is profit, but mere talk tends only to poverty” (Prov. 14:23). By writing this in your Bible, you’ll always have it before you. Then pray it privately and publicly and watch God answer.
