As our family worship time was coming to an end, I asked my children if they had any prayer requests. My daughter responded, “Daddy, pray for me, that I would believe in Jesus and be a Christian.” This wasn’t the first time Clara has mentioned this request. Like many children who’ve grown up in a Christian home, Clara professed faith in Christ at an early age. But, like so many other young people who professed faith early, she struggles with doubts.
How would you respond if your child who has already professed faith in Christ asked you this question?
Common Responses to Children’s Doubts
A positive response to the gospel doesn’t necessarily mean that a child has come to a place of repentance and faith. Many sincere Christian parents suppress the convicting work of the Spirit in their children’s lives by assuring them that they are Christians based upon a past profession of faith.
“Honey, don’t you remember the time when we prayed together and you received Christ?”
Well-intentioned parents can dispel their children’s questions by pointing them backwards to an event instead of upward to the person and work of Christ. As a result, far too many “Christian” young people assume they are saved because of an experience they’ve had in the past. Their hope is rooted in a past event instead of the living Christ.
There’s another way that parents can unwittingly point their children away from Christ during times of doubt:
“Honey, real Christians bear fruit. Does your life show that you’re a Christian?”
You might object, “But it’s true! What could be wrong with a response like this? The Bible is clear that conversion leads to life transformation. In Christ, we are a new creation. Old things will pass away as all things become new (2 Cor.5:17). Real Christians will bear fruit.”
The problem with this counsel is not in its truthfulness, but in how easily it can be misunderstood. Children, especially those with sensitive consciences, can hear this counsel and think, “I need to work hard at obeying mom and dad to prove that I’m a Christian.” Their work, not Christ’s, becomes the basis of their hope.
A Gospel-Shaped Response
When doubts or questions arise, parents should take advantage of these teachable moments by unpacking the hope-giving truths of the gospel. Even if the child is genuinely a believer, it certainly won’t hurt them to hear the promises of the gospel afresh.
So how can we do that? Here are four truths that I would encourage you to talk about with your children when they express concern about their salvation. I’ve included a few brief remarks under each point. Depending upon your child’s age, understanding, or particular questions, one of these points may need to be emphasized more than others.
You were made by God and for God
Salvation is fundamentally about being reconciled to God. Life as God intended it was meant to be lived in vital relationship with Him (John 17:3). John Piper wisely notes, “The gospel is not a way to get people to heaven; it is a way to get people to God.”
Sin has separated you from God
Most children know that they do bad things. But what they might not understand is that their hearts are completely sinful as well (Jer.17:9; Mr.7:23). Because of sin, they deserve to be separated from God, both in this life and for all eternity (Ro.6:23a).
Jesus came to bring you to God
Our children can’t hear enough about the glories of the person and work of Jesus. Through His sinless life and sin-bearing death, He alone has the power to bring sinners to God (I Peter 3:18). Being full God and fully man, only Jesus can take the hand of God and the hand of man and bring them together (I Tim.2:5). He promises that all those who trust in Him will have everlasting life. (John 3:16, 36; I John 5:11-13, etc).
Repent and trust in Jesus to be reconciled to God
If a child has truly understood the gravity of their sin, there will be a godly sorrow, shame, and guilt over sin. They won’t want to continue living in rebellion against God. What a joy it is to explain to sin-burdened children that all who believe in Christ and trust in Him will be forgiven and have life forever with God (Mr.1:15; Eph.2:8-9; etc.).[1]
A Final Word of Counsel
No argument, illustration, or apologetic technique will win our children to Christ. The Lord uses His Word to give new life and strengthen persevering faith (Ro.10:17; 1 Pet.1:23). When counseling children, open your Bible and have them read out loud the Scripture passages related to their doubts. Ask them open-ended questions that encourage them to see the answers to their questions or objections from the text of God’s Word. Don’t underestimate God’s power to use His Word to bring your children to Himself.
Parents, what a joy and privilege it is to bring our children up “in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.” May the Lord grant us grace to faithfully teach gospel truths often and early as we seek to point our children to our great Savior.
[1] I recognize that concepts like repentance and faith can be challenging to articulate to young children. In the near future, we plan on creating brief videos to explain these and other key theological truths in a clear, Biblically faithful manner.
