This post is the last in a four-part series on a Biblical view of singleness.

In light of the Bible’s instruction on singleness, Christian congregations can take several action steps to foster an environment where single believers are highly valued.

  1. A Christian ministry might find it helpful to deliberately assess how many singles are involved in its activities and functions. Single saints comprise a large section of the Christian church. Some believers are single by divine gifting, others on account of sacrificial choice, some because of tragic divorce, and still others due to the death of a beloved spouse. The Christian leader who is consciously aware of the number of single people under his care will be able to appreciate the contributions that these saints make to his ministry. Also, a well-informed church leader will make sure that his applications of the Scripture regularly intersect with single saints’ lives. Such a leader will assure all of these saints that their single status, whether temporary or permanent, is of great value and profit to God.
  2. The leadership of Christian ministries can publicly affirm the value of singleness. A sermon or Sunday School lesson on the value of singleness is a rarity, but a public message about the value of singleness would prove powerful and memorable in the life of a congregation. Besides delivering sermons on singleness, church leaders can affirm singleness by making a point of publicly commending singles for their helpful and oftentimes essential ministries. Some schools simply could not survive without the dedication of single Christian teachers. Occasionally, a church’s ministry to a distant land could not be sustained apart from a single missionary’s investing hours in foreign language study and gospel outreach. In other cases, a church might be leaning on the sacrificial spirit of a single secretary or bookkeeper to keep a ministry on course. These types of singles are worthy of honor. The same could be said of the numerous singles who keep camp ministries alive every summer. Often, singles are talked about in terms of what they are not (i.e., not married) instead of what they are (i.e., devoted to God). A leader’s example in publicly valuing singles goes a long way toward leading a congregation in the right direction of viewing singles Biblically.
  3. Married and single Christians can make a point of forming friendships with each other. Single men and married men both have needs that can be met by one another. Single men enjoy the conversational interaction that a married friend provides, and married men enjoy freedom from family concerns when interacting with a single friend. Likewise, when a married woman and single woman meet together for coffee, the social time can be good for both parties—a breath of fresh air from household duties for the married woman, and a breath of fresh air from work or ministry duties for the single woman. When these friendships involve an element of spiritual fellowship and prayer, they are particularly powerful. Often, one discovers that the spiritual strength of a single might minister to a spiritual need in the married person’s life, and vice versa. The power of the Spirit to build up the body of Christ is not in any way dependent on people’s marital status. The key is for both parties to recognize that a friendship is not one sided or hierarchical but involves giving and receiving from two equals who just happen to have a different social set-up. Singles often give of themselves by overcoming time and travel issues that married people cannot easily overcome. Married people often give of themselves by providing comfortable accommodations and resources that singles might not readily possess. Singles receive encouragement and perspective from married friends, and married people receive relational variety and innovative ideas from single friends. Both receive the value of the spirituality in the other.
  4. The Christian community can show that it values singleness by using edifying speech with singles. Discerning Christians realize that even well-intentioned questions can be loaded with highly sensitive overtones. For example, it is generally not wise to ask a married couple with no children, “Why don’t you have any children?” or “When are you planning to have children?” These questions might seem innocent, but to the hearer, they can spark a whole range of emotions, especially if the questions are being asked repeatedly. The same is true for speaking with singles about marriage. A question about marriage might seem innocent to the one asking. To the hearer, however, the question might be being heard for the thousandth time, and the emotions sparked might be very negative. Communication with singles about singleness is best approached only after a solid relational platform with the single has already been built.
  5. Christian ministries can integrate singles into adult Sunday school classes and church activities. A thirty-year old single might feel out of place in a Sunday school class designed for college students. Single saints want to be categorized primarily as Christians, not as singles. They want to be involved with church-wide outings and a variety of adult ministries, not just singles’ activities and singles’ Bible studies.

Singles are often the most surrendered yet most overlooked Christians in any congregation, but God does not fail to notice their value. Revelation 14:1-5 guarantees that a day is coming when the Lamb of God will stand on Mount Zion and give 144,000 single missionary evangelists the opportunity to sing a song of praise that no other saints will be allowed to learn. Rescued from the Tribulation, these 144,000 Jewish believers are described as “virgins” who “follow the Lamb wherever He goes” (Rev. 14:4). Heaven will vindicate the sacrificial choices of singles singly devoted to God. The best Christian singles would probably never ask anyone to notice or even recognize their contribution to the spread of God’s kingdom. Christ, however, would ask that His people give “esteem” (Phil. 2:29) and “honor” (Rom. 13:7) to whom it is due. To the single saint singly devoted to God, the church must be ready to give a salute of honor. Such a saint is singularly valuable.