How healthy is your marriage?

I recently gave a marriage health survey with the following questions to the young couples in our church. Answers to the questions ranged from “strongly agree” to “strongly disagree.” Participants were given the opportunity to clarify and elaborate on each of their responses. After completing the survey, couples were encouraged to openly and honestly work through the question with each another.

I hope that these 20 diagnostic questions can help you evaluate the heath of your marriage as well:

  1. We have regular rhythms built into our schedule to connect relationally, spiritually, emotionally, and physically.
  2. My spouse and I feel more like roommates living in the same house than a married couple enjoying life together.
  3. Our marriage has gotten stronger and sweeter over the last year.
  4. There seems to be consistent, unresolved tension in our relationship that’s causing us to drift apart.
  5. We have regular times of prayer and spiritual conversation with one another.
  6. We faithfully serve together in our church.
  7. My spouse understands me, listens to me, and is patient with me. My spouse is emotionally, spiritually, and relationally present with me through the ups and downs of life.
  8. (If you are a wife): My husband’s leadership helps me thrive in my walk with Christ, responsibilities in the home, and relationships with others.
  9. (If you are a husband): My wife encourages, supports, and responds to my leadership.
  10. We are growing spiritually, both personally and as a couple.
  11. Money, in-laws, and sex are frequent sources of tension in our marriage. 
  12. Our children would say that home is a happy place where they feel loved and accepted.
  13. We have a budget that helps us make wise financial decisions.  
  14. We are united in our parenting philosophy and practices.
  15. We have godly couples in our life that we can go to for counsel.
  16. I know my spouse is frustrated and disappointed in me. I feel like I never measure up to his/her expectations.  
  17. I am excited about the memories that we are making together, both as a couple and as a family.
  18. We have a healthy, satisfying sex life.
  19. At least once in the last three months, we’ve set aside time to evaluate and talk our marriage.
  20. I feel completely free and safe talking about my hopes, dreams, and sin struggles with my spouse.