Why is it so hard for many parents to encourage their sons and daughters towards cross-cultural missions?
Some parents compete with God for their children, hindering their involvement in missions. It might be surprising, however, to realize that many godly Christian parents also struggle with sending their children into missions with their blessing. Sometimes even Christian parents, themselves fully engaged in vocational ministry, find it difficult to accept their children’s calling of God to serve in cross-cultural missions.
The challenge of disrupted relationships
Parents know that if their children serve in long-term missions that they won’t see their children very often. Several years or more might pass before they see them again. Visiting them where they choose to serve might be difficult, if not impossible. Their children won’t be home for the holidays. And who knows how world events might affect things?
Normal family relationships, which become more and more important to us as we age, will be interrupted. From this standpoint, having children who are foreign missionaries is definitely not ideal. While the internet is a huge help with staying in touch, it is far from being a replacement for children being near.
(It is assumed in this article that the local church is supportive and and that the children are biblically qualified for the role they desire to fulfill in missions.)
The emotional challenge of the grandchildren
Most difficult for many is that the grandchildren will grow up largely apart from them. They know that the grandchildren will not know them as well, will not naturally love them like they would if they saw them more regularly.
Naturally, Christian grandparents want to see and spend time with their grandchildren as often as possible. They want to love on them and make a difference in their lives. These parents know, however, that an overseas life will keep them from that valued time, that vital connection that they long for with their grandchildren.
These thoughts and emotions are not necessarily sinful. In some ways, the closer and more like Christ a family is, the greater difficulty this separation can be on the heart.
Overcoming through faith
There can be a real and ongoing sense of loss when one’s children go to the mission field. The life one might normally expect is not going to happen. This is hard. No matter how godly or passionate about the Gospel the parents are, letting go of one’s children is still a journey in faith.
How do Christian parents overcome their fears and their desires to keep their children close? How can they wholeheartedly support their children’s decision to take their families far away in service to the Lord? Ultimately it comes down to believing God’s truth and resting in His promises. This is what allows them the give approval and encourage their children interested in missions.
Approval is Worship.
As parents encourage and support their children in ministry decisions, they are participating in worship. How so? To support children in their service to Christ when their decisions cause us to sacrifice personally is an offering to the Lord. In essence, it is a major way that parents give back to the Lord in grateful worship. Only by God’s Spirit can Christian parents overcome their own desires and emotions, even making practical sacrifices to help enable their children to follow their calling from the Lord.
Such sacrifices to the Lord honor Him greatly. It shows to Him and others how much the parents love Him and His salvation, how much they value the Gospel message and the souls of men and women yet without Jesus. Parents like this live in the reality of Romans 12:1-2:
“I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God (based on everything He has done for you), to present your bodies (dedicating all of yourselves) as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship (true and proper worship, reasonable service in worship). Do not be conformed to this world (with its superficial values and customs) but be (progressively) transformed by the renewing of your minds (focusing on God’s values), that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.”
Approval Brings Reward.
The Lord sees the sacrifices that Christian parents make when they allow their children to serve Him wherever He leads. He knows the ways they support and encourage them. He sees. Nothing escapes His notice.
“The eyes of the LORD are in every place, keeping watch over the evil and the good” (Prov. 15:3).
Whatever loss we have known, whatever fears we have had to face because of our children serving Christ away from us, God will reward us for it if we have given it to Him. God will not fail to reward us.
Investment with the greatest possible dividends
These words will prove true for you as they do for your children who have gone out to serve Him:
“And he said to them, ‘Truly, I say to you, there is no one who has left house or wife or brothers or parents or children, for the sake of the kingdom of God, who will not receive many times more in this time, and in the age to come eternal life” (Lk 18:29-30).
If “the one who receives a prophet because he is a prophet will receive a prophet’s reward, and the one who receives a righteous person because he is a righteous persons will receive a righteous person’s reward” and “whoever gives one of these little ones even a cup of cold water because he is a disciple…will not lose their reward” (Mt. 10:41-42), how much more will God reward Christian parents who make sacrifices to support their children who serve Him?
Parents’ surrender to missions
It is heart-rending to be at the airport as parents say goodbye to their children and grandchildren who will be living 5000 miles away for the next 4 years. They will not be there for birthdays, Christmases, and family vacations. They will not get to experience the joy of watching grandchildren grow up. There is going to be a huge void in their lives. It does take commitment and surrender to be a missionary, but the parents and grandparents also pay a price. We should stand up and applaud them…
There will be a lot of empty chairs around the table the next holiday season. Missionaries will be separated from family by big oceans and thousands of miles. Parents and grandparents of missionaries will have a void in their hearts. The vacant seats around the table will be a tribute to the sacrifice some are willing to make for the gospel.
It takes commitment to be a missionary, and it is also a sacrifice for those who are left behind. Some of the heroes in missions are those who have never gone. They stay home but let family members go. We applaud those who are willing to go. We salute those who stay behind…God pays well.
Paul Seger (Senders: How your church can identify, train and deploy missionaries)
Again, Jesus said,
“Truly, I say to you, there is no one who has left house or wife or brothers or parents or children, for the sake of the kingdom of God, who will not receive many times more in this time, and in the age to come eternal life” (Lk 18:29-30).
Parents that make personal sacrifices regarding their children for the cause of Jesus Christ will be eternally glad they did. The investment has eternal dividends of far greater value than what any financial broker could offer here in this short life. Encourage your children to follow Christ, wherever He leads them and be blessed.
Unless otherwise noted, Scripture quotations are taken from the ESV® Bible (The Holy Bible, English Standard Version®).