Accountability relationships should be the norm. This is not just for those who confessed an ongoing sinful addiction and want help. The kind of accountability I am talking about here is proactive and ongoing, simply a humble recognition of each individual’s need for the Body of Christ to maintain holiness in days especially challenging to God’s people.

The times demand a higher level accountability.

It seems to me that there has never been a time when the need for personal accountability has been greater. The world in which we live today creates an endless supply of temptations, many of which become addictions. It is just plain too easy to sin, especially in private because of technology.

It has never been more easy to find, obtain, and consume addictive substances, legal or illegal. Never has it been so easy to live a double life, to indulge in sexual lust, commit adultery, gamble, steal, pursue ungodly friendships, gossip, slander, deceive others, or waste countless hours on soul-damaging entertainment. While mankind has been fully depraved since Adam led the way into sin, it has never been so easy to do so. And the wicked are using every available means to trap and involve people into sin because it is so very lucrative.

Another way in which our times are unique is the access to even good things that distract us from our responsibilities. For many of us, it takes serious vigilance to stay on task, fulfill our responsibilities, and avoid devastating sins. We need to hold one another accountable today in ways previous generations never would have thought of.

The text of Scripture commands accountability.

Practical reasons to urge for accountability relationships are numerous, but does Scripture provide a clear argument for it? Yes! Membership in a local church is key for this reason, that we might “stir up one another to love and good works…encouraging one another” (Heb. 10:24-25). We are called to “exhort one another every day, as long as it is called ‘today,’ that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin” (Heb. 3:13). In order to obey God’s Word and “confess our sins to one another” (Jam. 5:16), we must know what is going on in each other’s lives outside of public church meetings. Through accountability relationships we can be proactive in “Bearing one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ” before we fall into transgression and need restoration (Gal. 6:1-2). New Testament instructions about church discipline assume accountability.

Spiritual leaders are not immune to this need for accountability.

All of this is also true for pastors, missionaries, and anyone in leadership roles in our churches as well. We all need someone(s) in our life who will ask us hard questions. We need to know that someone we respect will regularly ask us things most people won’t. Spiritual leaders must not think they are immune to this need, for they are to maintain qualifications to continue in their role among God’s people (1 Tim. 3:1-8). If anything, they are more accountable, not less.

Paul Tripp’s Dangerous Calling argues very strongly for accountability for pastors, particularly within the local church he serves. Because of various circumstances and ministry dynamics, pastors and missionaries often need such a relationship with someone(s) outside of the ministry that they presently serve in also.

An extra line of defense in our spiritual warfare is welcome.

Accountability relationships must be voluntary for them to work. Those involved also have to be honest about their failures as well. It is not some fool-proof way to keep from sinning. It is a practical measure to help us regularly evaluate about our lives before God, provide mutual encouragement, and to give us another line of defense in our spiritual warfare. What good reason could we give for avoiding accountability like this?

In my ministry role, I provide accountability to some other men in ministry. Below is the most recent version of the accountability email that I send to them every month or two. My purpose is to help each man stop and prayerfully think through each area of his life.

Interaction with these men includes email, messaging, occasional calls, and seeing them in person as possible. I send this same report to one of the men who holds me accountable. I call these “Taking Time to Reflect” emails.

Taking Time to Reflect

Spiritual Life

Over the last couple of months, have you been spending time in God’s Word and prayer on a daily basis (“But we will devote ourselves to prayer and to the ministry of the Word” (Acts 6:4)? 

Are you serving the Lord with courage and hope, or is this a time of discouragement?

Relationship with Your Wife

Are you actively loving your wife, “living with her in an understanding way, showing honor to her as the weaker vessel but also heir with you of the grace of life” (versus impatience, frustration, complaining, demanding)(1Pet. 3:7)?

Are you maintaining emotional and spiritual unity with her (“Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them” Col. 3:19)? What would she say?

Relationship with Your Children

Are you “managing your household well, with all dignity, keeping your children submissive” (1Tim. 3:4)? 

Are you lovingly training your children, or are you “provoking them to wrath, discouraging them” (Col. 3:21)?

Moral Integrity

Have you been maintaining proper physical and emotional boundaries with others in your life and ministry, “above reproach, the husband of one wife, sober-minded” (1Tim. 3:2)?

Have you willingly viewed or read sexually explicit media of any kind since the last Taking Time to Reflect email (“self-controlled,” 1Tim. 3:2; no, “adultery in your heart,” Mt. 5:27-28)?

Making Disciples

Have you been setting aside time weekly for personal evangelism to “make disciples” (Mt. 28:19-20)?

In the past month, approximately how many times have you verbally shared Christ with others (beyond preaching at regular church services)?

Unity in Ministry

Do you have any unresolved conflicts with co-workers, members of the church, or others in your ministry? Are there any tensions with co-workers? (“not violent, but gentle, not quarrelsome” (1 Tim. 3:3); “not quarrelsome but kind to everyone” (2 Tim. 2:24).

Planned Rest (Sabbath Principle)

Are you being intentional with setting aside time for weekly physical and spiritual rest (however that works for you)? Are you helping your wife do the same?

Have you taken your expected vacation time this past year? Do you have plans to take one in the coming year? 

Discussion and Prayer

Is there anything that you would like to explain or discuss? Have prayer burdens you would like to share here? Would you appreciate a call?

Accountability is not optional.

There are all kinds of ways to provide accountability–one-on-one, elder or deacon care groups, a peer group of some kind, small groups, etc. Accountability must begin with one’s local church but can also go beyond that.

The forms of accountability relationships might widely differ–how often you meet, the questions asked, or whether a Bible study is involved. It doesn’t have to be streamlined or professional. We just have to do it. We need to discover a way that works and meets the need.

One of the greatest weapons that Satan has is darkness and secrecy.
The more we keep our sins secret, the more he will have a hold on us.

Christopher Yuan

Quote from Christopher Yuan taken from the Summit Lecture Series, The Christian Response to Homosexuality.

Unless otherwise noted, Scripture quotations are taken from the ESV® (The Holy Bible, English Standard Version®).