Several years ago a nagging toothache sent me to the worst place on planet earth — the dental chair. After a few x-rays and well-rehearsed jokes, the Doc began probing with something other than the metal torture device:
“I’m curious, are you waking up at night covered in sweat?”
Yeah, my wife just had a baby; we can’t seem to get the temperature right.
“Do you have a neck ache?”
Oh, yeah. I just got a new road bike and I’m having a hard time getting the handle bar height and seat angle correct.
“Are you gaining weight?”
Yes! And that’s weird because I’m exercising more and eating less.
After listing several more symptoms, all of which I was experiencing, the dentist put his hand on my shoulder and said, “Greg, the good news is that you don’t have a cavity. The bad is that you’re stressed out.”
I’m not exactly sure of my response, but I think it was something like, “Pfffssst. Stressed out!? Me? I’m Greg Baker. I’ve got no time for stress.” Finally, mercifully, I called a pastor-mentor. His wisdom stopped my denial and accelerated my recovery. Since then, I’ve had a lot to learn about how to manage stress.
This is by no means a clinical expression of stress, anxiety, or burn out, but I’ve come to distinguish “stress” and “stressing out.” Stress is life. It can be moral, amoral, or immoral; it’s hardly ever rational; it can be cumulative or sudden; and regardless of the outcome, I feel its effects. Stress stands outside me and generally stems from conditions over which I have little control.
Stressed out? Well, that’s a little more complicated. When I’m stressed out, I feel the physical effects of those stressors. Sometimes I manage the stress well enough — I might need only a little breather after the stressor passes. Other times, my sinful neglect causes anxiety to rise, fleshly thought-patterns to flourish, and burn-out to come knocking.
Either way, stress has a purpose. Paul confirms that tribulation produces enduring perseverance — trials pressure test us for spiritual good through the internal testimony of God’s Holy Spirit (Romans 5:3-5).
The issue, then, is not whether I’ll experience stress, it’s what I choose to do with it. What follows is advice I’ve given myself countless times.
Let’s begin with three ineffective ways to manage stress.
1. Wishful Thinking
Even if a previously unknown uncle willed you his vast fortune, you’d still stress over the newfound stewardship. Even if God moved that person in your church to a remote Alaskan island (or wherever you’re not), God loves you too much not to provide another one. And even if your company finally wised up and made you the boss, your managerial responsibilities would quickly overwhelm you (Bonus: your old boss won’t appear quite as stupid).
2. Work Harder
I’m by no means advocating a do-nothing, lazy approach, but stressors are generally outside my control. That realization, of course, doesn’t usually stop me from trying to micromanage life! The results are predictable: sleepless nights, manipulation, and a whole lot of wheel-spinning.
3. Quit
I could probably classify quitting under Wishful Thinking because quitting dishes the lie that things will get better if we just bow out. Remember, stressors stand outside our control; stressing out is strictly internal. Quitting might fix a temporary problem, but neglects the core — me.
So how should one manage stress to God’s glory?
The Bible has more to say than you might think.
1. Find God
David wrote Psalm 3 while on the run from Absalom. And despite the great stress of the situation, he claimed a good night’s rest (3:5). But how? The Lord “sustained” him, of course. That word “sustain” is intriguing — it’s used primarily to describe the priestly function of laying hands on the sacrifice just before slaughtering it. I believe David was trying to communicate that God was doing something more than just sustain his life. God held David over those fires for salvific purposes: the stress, and God’s subsequent deliverance, benefitted David’s soul.
2. Humbly Rest
In Psalm 131 David offers a contrast to relieve the mental gymnastics so common with stress, “I do not occupy myself with things too great or too marvelous for me. But I have calmed and quieted my soul, like a weaned child with its mother.” I’m reminded of how Mary’s calm listening contrasted with Martha’s stressed-out service (Luke 10:38-42). Humble rest restores. And for those agitated by something that sounds so indifferent (or worse), please remember that Martha accused Jesus of similar passivity.
3. Glorify Weakness
Beginning in 2 Corinthians 11:24 and running all the way through his infamous thorn, Paul catalogues stressors that would have drown any of us. Yet, Paul’s conclusion is profound, “Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” We don’t glorify weakness for the sake of weakness, but for the overwhelming grace and power that God will work in broken vessels like us(2 Cor. 4:7).
Herein lies the point of stress — it comes and goes, but God’s grace is sufficient. God deliberately tailors stressful situations to drive us to humble anticipation of His preeminent grace. My Christlikeness is bigger than my comfort. And ironically enough, I find comfort in attempting to micromanage all aspects of life. But God very kindly overwhelms my capabilities , so that I stop glorying in myself and start allowing the Holy Spirit to produce endurance, character, and hope (Romans 5:1-5).
