On one side of a table sits a man in deep crisis. He just lost everything, from his entire family to his possessions. We’ll call him Job. On the other side sits a friend, trying to encourage him. “Well you should stop grieving” he says. “Don’t you know the Bible says ‘rejoice evermore’ and ‘rejoice in the Lord always?’”
That’s a really bad counseling approach. It usually happens because of the myth of the “perpetually jubilant Christian”—the idea that truly spiritual people won’t struggle with emotional turmoil.
But here’s the hard part. Those verses are still there. If Paul told us to rejoice all the time (Phil. 4:4; 1 Thess. 5:16), isn’t something wrong when you aren’t? Since joy is a fruit of the Spirit, shouldn’t you be happy all the time?
And then there’s reality. Jesus suffered emotional struggle in Gethsemane. If you’ve just lost a family member, grieving is healthy. The last thing you need is guilt for the fact that you’re hurting.
So how to understand these passages? Here’s a brief attempt to paint the fuller biblical picture.
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Scripture talks about grief as much as joy.
It’s always a bad idea to isolate Scripture from its context. The theme of joy stands behind Phil. 4:4. But Philippians also talks about “sorrow upon sorrow,” Paul’s anxiety, his tears, needs and troubles. In other words, whatever “rejoice always” means, it doesn’t exclude pain and grief.
In fact, were we to count passages, Scripture tells us to expect pain as much or more than joy. To be biblically accurate, we have to talk about both.
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Grief and joy can be simultaneous.
My not quite 1-year old son just started walking. There was real pleasure watching his first steps, but my heart also hurt to see my child growing up. I can already hear him saying “see you next year, Dad” as he gets on a flight to the other side of the world.
It’s possible, in other words, for joy and pain to be simultaneous. We are to “rejoice in sufferings” (Rom. 5:3), view trials “as joy” (Jam. 1:2) and “rejoice as we share Christ’s sufferings” (1 Pet. 4:13).
Naturally enough, we would love a nice little trick to nullify pain or even make it feel good. Too often we think of biblical joy as mere happy feelings and Paul’s commands as “just feel happy.” Only in 21st century America would we concoct a view of suffering that doesn’t even hurt. But it’s not reality. Trials hurt—that’s why we call them trials. Worse, we can start feeling guilty when that recipe won’t vaporize the pain. “I must not be spiritual enough to ‘rejoice always,’” we think. “If I was just spiritual enough, I’d be one of those perpetually jubilant guys.” But really we just failed to understand what Scripture was saying.
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Scripture is candid about human struggles.
Yes, Scripture recognizes that you’re human. Far from presenting a pathway for constant euphoria, biblical writers openly share their grief, fears, and pain.
“So,” we might ask, “maybe trials are just on the outside, while the joy is on the inside? In the midst of external trials,” we think, “you should be utterly placid on the inside.”
Scripture hardly presents it that simply. Jesus’ struggle in Gethsemane was very much internal and emotional with descriptions like “distressed, sorrowful, or troubled in spirit” (Matt 26:37; Mark 14:33–34; Luke 22:43–44; John 11:33–36; 12:27; 13:21). Or read through Philippians and 2 Corinthians, circling all the words for trials or sorrow. These are internal, emotional struggles and they’re very real.
Ever felt like you couldn’t open up about your pain or discouragement? “I don’t want people thinking I’m carnal” you might think, “because I’m struggling emotionally.” Don’t worry—along with Paul and Jesus, you’re in good company. It’s better to be honest—ask for prayer, encouragement and help.
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Ultimately our joy rests in the final victory of God Himself.
Joy and pain will always be intermingled, so long as the disease called sin plagues the beautiful world God made. Someday, you’ll experience what true fullness of joy feels like, when God removes every tear from human eyes.
And that’s the reason for our joy now. Pain is real; sorrow will continue as long as you’re alive. But our joy is the confidence that suffering is only temporary. God is the guaranteed victor. Paul tells you to “rejoice evermore” or “rejoice in the Lord always” because God is always on the throne. His victory is just a matter of time and that reality never changes.
In fact, the myth of the perpetually jubilant Christian fails by offering too little. This kind of joy isn’t merely a happy feeling—nice notions in our heads as we go through life. It’s a confident expectation that our God will triumph—triumph over grief, pain, death, and even sin itself.
If you’re searching for something to take the hurt out of trials, stop looking. You won’t find it. Not until Jesus comes. But in the meantime, turn your weary eyes upward.
“Our citizenship is in heaven, and from it we await a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ,
who will transform our lowly body to be like his glorious body,
by the power that enables him even to subject all things to himself.”
In that, you can, and should always rejoice.
This post is third in our series on joy. You can read part 1 and part 2 here.
For more extremely helpful content on the topic of joy, please buy and read Ron Horton’s excellent book, Mood Tides: Divine Purpose in the Rhythms of Life ($9).
